Defining Madness: A Love Story - Part 2
Desperate Measures
Welcome to my little corner of the internet! I’m so glad you’re here. Below you’ll find part 2 of my episodic short story Defining Madness.
Want to start at the beginning? Here you go:
From the Journal of Xavier Solus
July 16th
I’m often misunderstood.
That’s part of the reason why my date with Erica went poorly. I’m sure her shoes played a large part as well.
Anyway, you might be wondering about the definitions I scatter about. They are my attempt to be clear in my meaning. To preemptively 📖 [pree-emp-tiv-lee] adverb measure taken against a possible undesirable outcome 📖 deal with any misconceptions that might arise due to my word choices.
Sometimes I wish I had someone who could define my words for others while I talked to them. I’m imagining a skinny Frenchman with a well-oiled mustache. His name is Claude. “You must pardon Mssr. Solus, Mademoiselle,” Claude would say to the young lady I’m having dinner with. “What he meant to say is how beautiful you look this night.” I would smile and nod and then we would get married.
At any rate, I videotaped myself sleeping last night. I reviewed the video at 4x speed this morning but I didn’t see anything watching me. I did see myself sleep on my stomach with my arm at an ungodly angle for hours. That must be why my shoulder always hurts in the morning.
July 17th
Nothing again last night, so I’m 0 for 2 on the videotaping thing. Maybe the watcher is gone? I could use a break from the paranormal. Plain ol’ normal is giving me enough trouble for the time being.
I have another date set up for tonight. I saw an ad on one of those classifieds websites. You know, the type where you post old crap you have lying around and try to get a sucker to buy it from you? They have a dating section, too, and I found someone who has very similar interests as me. Her name is Alex. We like the same types of movies, we’re both into Italian food, and she even plays videogames! It’s hard for me to not get excited about this one.
I know it’s only been three days since my last date, but my therapist says that the best thing to do after you fall off a bike is to get right back on and start riding again. Eventually I have to meet someone I connect with, right? I told my therapist that I was looking forward to “riding” Alex (I wanted to stick with the bike metaphor), but she said I should refrain 📖 [ri-freyn] verb to shy away from the desire to say or do something 📖 from mentioning that tonight since it could be taken the wrong way.
Wish me luck, etc, etc.
July 18th
This is getting ridiculous.
Alex wasn’t short for Alexandria. It was short for Alex, as in, “Hi, my name is Alex, and I’m a man.”
Apparently I was searching for a date on the wrong page of that website. It was awkward at first, but after I explained what happened, we had a nice evening. We really do have a lot in common. He even came over to my apartment for a while after dinner to check out some of my old comic books. I apologized about the misunderstanding again as he left. He told me that I wasn’t really his type (which oddly enough made me feel bad), but that we could still hang out as friends if I wanted. So I guess you can call that a success?
In otherworldly news, I had another visitation last night. I woke up around two in the morning with the feeling that I wasn’t alone. I kept my eyes shut for a while, waiting for the sensation to pass, but it didn’t. Eventually I reached over and turned on my light. I swear I saw two big bubbly eyes staring at me from the wall. I cursed and threw a glass of water that was sitting on my nightstand at it, but it dissolved 📖 [dih-zolv-d] verb to break down into separate elements 📖 or whatever spooks do when they disappear. I ran to check the tape but it didn’t record anything out of the ordinary. Besides my glass shattering into a million pieces, that is. I spent the next hour cleaning it up.
This thing is really starting to freak me out/piss me off.
July 21st
I’ve been doing some research on ghosts lately, specifically on ways to get rid of them. Let me tell you, there are some weird-ass suggestions. And yes, I tried just about all of them:
Set traps in case there are animals in the walls? Check.
Record your surroundings to see if the ghost is trying to tell you something? Check.
This is where things get weird.
Ring a bell throughout the house? Check.
Use a no-nonsense voice to tell the ghost to go away? Check.
Turn counterclockwise for 30 seconds while naked? Check.
In brighter news, my new friend Alex called me. He said his sister Ellie was in town and that she had agreed to go on a date with me, if I was willing. I guess he really talked me up to her. I confirmed that she was, in fact, a girl before agreeing to meet her tomorrow night for dinner. He warned me to go easy on her since she’s been having a rough few months. I promised to be on my best behavior but I’m sure I’ll say something stupid. I wish Claude were available.
And so my quest for love continues unabated 📖 [uhn-uh-bey-tid] adjective with no loss of momentum or power 📖.
Suggested music for Part 2 : I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor by The Arctic Monkeys
Part 3 will be out soon. You know I can’t quit you
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