Its a wonder that indoctrination can get a whole village of girls to be excited to throw themselves into a bottomless pit. Her brother can't be the only one asking whether that is a good thing or not. Her parents were obviously distressed, though they barely showed it.
Good movement forward. Nicely written. You continue to hold my interest.
A bit of a jump from telling father to being sick of attention of town. I think you could have done more with that, with the idea of how people were looking at her.
I was surprised at "clean-shaven," somehow it seems more fitting for her father to have a beard.
Its a wonder that indoctrination can get a whole village of girls to be excited to throw themselves into a bottomless pit. Her brother can't be the only one asking whether that is a good thing or not. Her parents were obviously distressed, though they barely showed it.
Good read, looking forward to chapter 3.
Good movement forward. Nicely written. You continue to hold my interest.
A bit of a jump from telling father to being sick of attention of town. I think you could have done more with that, with the idea of how people were looking at her.
I was surprised at "clean-shaven," somehow it seems more fitting for her father to have a beard.
Also didn't think "jelly brains" worked.